Stop telling yourself you can't and start telling yourself you CAN
The mind is a muscle. It needs to be stretched and worked on in order to grow in the way you want it to. In the case of ‘can’t’ it’s been flexed in the wrong direction, and now it is just in the habit of flexing that way. So - enter ‘can’ - extend that muscle in the right direction, practise it daily, and sooner (rather than later) you’ll find yourself in the habit of saying I CAN rather than I CAN’T.
Disclaimer - this is a really relevant topic for me this week - I have found myself in the habit of thinking on the negative side of things for the last week or two, and I can really feel it in my attitude and headspace. It’s not a great place to be! So, let’s work through it together and take a few steps to fix this glitch, whether you, like me, find the ‘can’t’ creeping in occasionally, or whether you have been a ‘can’t’ lady for some time now <3
Ok, so starting things off simply…
I CAN: positive+.
I CAN’T: negative-
Agreed?
Cool beans.
Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst. And like any good habit, the more you challenge yourself to think the best in situations, the easier it will become :)
It sounds super easy and sometimes it is. But when you’re feeling a bit rubbish, that’s the time the brain knows it can take full advantage, keep you in your comfort zone, and go ham for leather on the ol’ neg. spiral! But the times where you feel down are the times we should FORCE ourselves to do the opposite of what the brain wants to do - like mope, or say ‘I can’t do x because of y / z ‘!’
Life’s a bit frustrating sometimes, but rather than let it get you down, an ‘I can’ can really change the situation!
For example: the last time you said ‘I can’t go to Bod Squad because *enter excuse here*.’ Did that make you feel good? Probably not - if we have a valid excuse then of course it is not applicable. But when we say ‘I can’t’ knowing full well that we probably could, then the negativity and guilt slips in.
However, if we thought ‘I can’t’ and then changed it to an ‘I CAN’, and you end up going; getting up out of bed or going after work when you’re not feeling like it, and you go and you feel incredible! Like you literally won the day, because you changed the can’t to a can.
And Bod Squad is just a mini pea in the pod. Positive thinking in life has so many health benefits. Saying I CAN will literally make you a happier, less stressed human being :)
Start to notice when you say I can’t. Once we can identify the times we are thinking negatively, then we can start filtering out the can’t and turning it into something positive. I imagine that the negative chat varies for each of us - some of us think badly about body image, some imagine we can’t do certain things at work, and other times just simple things around the house!
I found this great table on turning the CAN’T into a CAN, in an interesting article :
Negative self-talk // Positive thinking
I've never done it before. // It's an opportunity to learn something new.
It's too complicated. // I'll tackle it from a different angle.
I don't have the resources. // Necessity is the mother of invention.
I'm too lazy to get this done. // I couldn't fit it into my schedule, but I can re-examine some priorities.
There's no way it will work. // I can try to make it work.
It's too radical a change. // Let's take a chance.
No one bothers to communicate with me. // I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I'm not going to get any better at this. // I'll give it another try.
When do you find yourself feeling like you can’t? Maybe you’re someone who’s practised positivity for a long time and has some more helpful tips for our gang!
The moral of the story is, the more we can think positively, the more optimistic an outcome we have in life, and the happier and more healthy we are. But good things take time, so we better start practising today :) I know I feel better already just by reminding myself of these things! Funny how things go, right? You know what should be done, but sometimes you need to be reminded to really make light of the situation and tell yourself ummmm I CAN DO ANYTHING BABY.
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